Now How Did I GET here?

I make the same joke every time I go drinking.  I order a Long Island, then a Long Beach, and proudly announce I'm drinking coast to coast.  Same joke.  Every time.  I'm lame like that.

But NOW, I can set my sights higher.  NOW, I can drink on other continents without ever leaving the comfort of the heap of human non-ambition I become before I reach the bottom of the first glass.

Wait for it. . .

Awww yeah!  A Bar Globe!

I know these aren't new (I found some antique ones going for over $1,000).  BUT, -I- don't have one . . .  yet.  I don't know how I've managed to live this long with out one, quite honestly.  This is the perfect marriage of some of my most firmly ingrained personality traits.  I love drinking, and hate geography.

Can you imagine the joy of, "Wait...where's Bolivia?  SCREW it!  There's booze in here!"

Plus, this carries the added bonus of providing a map for those moments of panic during a bender where I have no idea where I am.  "Oh God!  Where Am...Oh..Okay...Yeah...there's the lake..and...I'm ok."

Journey to the Center of the Earth?  Now I know why, Jules Verne.  Now I know why.