Bullet Bugs!

A few weeks ago, I showed you bugs with clock parts.  Today, I will show you something similar, but completely different.

Bugs made ENTIRELY of parts!!

These guys are created by Tom Hardwidge in the UK  You can peruse Tom's website here.  I'd love to say more about this, but frankly, it's early.  I have not had coffee.  I'm mostly looking at them and going, "Oooh.  Shiny."  To make up for this, I will post several pictures AND a video today.  I'm that kind of guy.  Go grab a cup.  I'll wait.

Back?  Okay.  Good.  Scroll down.

AND FINALLY!!!

And in My Heart a Song (Bird).

I know, I know. . .

I'm like that lover you had that one summer.  You don't hear from me for days, then BAM I'm on you twice in one day.  Admit it. . . That was a hell of a summer.

ANYHOW!!

I just had to show you these birds.  They're just friggan epic.

I love his little hat.  "I am a proper Englishbird."  Except. . . I think that would make him a woman.

This one reminds me of painting.  He is the artbird.  Probably that's why he's looking down his beak at you just a little.

I say, old chap.  Care for a spot of people watching?  

(Yep.  I think mechanical birds should be from the UK)

He looks so studious.  He's probably a very young bird that attends an all boys birdschool.

I call her Mathilde.  She is in the circus.

I have a love-hate relationship with this one.  I like him very much, but he seems like he might be a stuffy military general kinda bird.  Also, I bet he smokes cigars and drinks scotch.  I approve of that part a little.

I hate birds, but I want like sixty of these things.  If real birds were this unsucky, I'd severely consider watching them.  Of course, if all birds were clockwork, who would wind them?  

Whatever Happened to Tock?

I love clockwork.  I love the way it moves.  I love the winding of the mechanism.  Most of all, I love the delicate "Tick-tock" sound it makes as the internal spring thingy goes all ratchetty with the. . .um. . . ratchetty thingy.  And then the gear bits move. . and it makes noise.

Ok, clearly, I'm not a watch maker.

Still, I have loved that sound my entire life.  And yet. . .

Something has been driving me absolutely bugnuts about the analog clock at work.  The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me.  Then, I realized that I can't stand analog watches either.  How is this possible?  How is it possible that I could hate clocks?

Then it hit me.  What's missing is "Tock".

All day long, the hands travel around the clock by the door, with only a loud click to mark off the half hour, and a strange latch sound to denote the hour. It sounds like this: "Tick-tick-tick-CLUNK. . .Tick-tick-tick-CAH-CHUNK!"  My battery operated watch just ticks along incessantly.  No "Tock."  Not ever.

Whatever happened to "Tock?"  What happened to the mechanical heartbeat of time?  Did we just slap a battery in it, and demand it soldier on through the ages?  I want my counterstroke back!  I want my offbeat! I want my tiny tinny tympanic salute!

THEREFORE:

Today I bring you the mechanical watch.  They are still out there.  Sure, they're a bit pricier than the lithium battery variety.  Sure, they're fussy, and more prone to running out or losing time.  But they SOUND awesome, damnit.

Here are my two favorites this morning:

Akribos XXIV: Davinci

Akribos XXIV: Skeleton

Okay...I hate the bands.  I'll give you that,  But the little whirly bits are awesome....and you can WIND THEM!!!

And while you're all agreeing to dress in ways that suit my fancy. . .

Gentlemen, please begin wearing these immediately:

The Distressed Fossil Messenger Bag.  Oh, Sexy!

Ok...you don't have to wear this all the time...maybe just in the bedroom. . .

There.  Those are my Devious Little Things for this morning.  Oh, how I love them.  Now. . .on to look at mechanical wall clocks. . .

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Oh, Cthulhu. . .

Those who know of his unspeakable, horrific glory will forever remember him like this:

But lately, I have noticed something different about the dread lord of R'lyeh. . .I can't quite put my finger on it but he seems less. . .

Dawwww. . . It's cuddle-me cthulhu!

He looks so friendly! I wanna luff him!

No.  No, this has gone too far (I want one!) But seriously, I'm not sure you should wear dead gods on your head.  You don't know where they've been.

You're not even trying.

Okay, this is just weird.

I detect an insidious Walmart vibe here. . .

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Babythulhu!!!

(Nearly) All of these items are available at Amazon.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find the origin of the baby coat, but if any of you know, tell me and I will pass it along!  

Now How Did I GET here?

I make the same joke every time I go drinking.  I order a Long Island, then a Long Beach, and proudly announce I'm drinking coast to coast.  Same joke.  Every time.  I'm lame like that.

But NOW, I can set my sights higher.  NOW, I can drink on other continents without ever leaving the comfort of the heap of human non-ambition I become before I reach the bottom of the first glass.

Wait for it. . .

Awww yeah!  A Bar Globe!

I know these aren't new (I found some antique ones going for over $1,000).  BUT, -I- don't have one . . .  yet.  I don't know how I've managed to live this long with out one, quite honestly.  This is the perfect marriage of some of my most firmly ingrained personality traits.  I love drinking, and hate geography.

Can you imagine the joy of, "Wait...where's Bolivia?  SCREW it!  There's booze in here!"

Plus, this carries the added bonus of providing a map for those moments of panic during a bender where I have no idea where I am.  "Oh God!  Where Am...Oh..Okay...Yeah...there's the lake..and...I'm ok."

Journey to the Center of the Earth?  Now I know why, Jules Verne.  Now I know why.

Tick-Tock BZZZZZZZZZZ

Today's little slice of awesomeness comes from Insect Lab.  Insect Lab is the brainchild of Mike Libby, who began his amazing creations one day when he found a dead beetle, and (inspired by the intricacy of its design) decided to combine the beetle's exoskeleton with several antique watch parts.

While that may sound a little creepy, the finished products are beautiful!

Below are a few of my favorites!

Be sure to stop by and check out the whole collection.  This is one artist I WILL be owning a work by!

~Fade